no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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