well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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