What did we do last night that was yellow?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
