You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
are you so shy because you have an std?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
