At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
