what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
