He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
