I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're completely useless in the revolution.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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