Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
