well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
