You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
