You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
