The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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