instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
