Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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