Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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