I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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