Please, let me fuck your mom
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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