All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
