She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
