so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
