Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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