Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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