I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
