I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just tell him i said nine months
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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