Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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