I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
