the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
