I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
