Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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