Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
