Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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