their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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