I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
