So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
