I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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