i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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