She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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