If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
