Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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