You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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