heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
