I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
