I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
