Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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