laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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