I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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