So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
