google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
