there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
