There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
