Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
