I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
