Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
