i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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