Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
