I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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