They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
